I am wondering why am I always writing here when I am alone?

Husband:D is gone to work, and I cannot help but wonder: how much do you need to love someone in order to change your life, left all your memories, friends, plans and options behind and start a new life?

can you measure love?

why are we pressuring ourselves into these thesis of forever lasting love, when before we even move in together sign the legal papers if we split up?

is being reasonable equal to being pragmatic?

and if so what is the point of promising to be with the person in the good and in the bad when we already know that we cannot handle the negativity?

i wish one day someone, anyone actually, could answer all the question which are in my head.

i wish you would care, although there is nothing to be done, as it was said before.

I was probably hurt too much. I probably am too realistic about the whole situation and only my mama still believes in the Christmas miracle.

If so, how come the woman who was hurt the most one can be still has the most love I ever seen in anyone?

Is love something which you simply have or believe in?

what if you don't?

Am i a rule or the exception?

how do i know if he is that into me?

how will i ever know?

I' m sitting home and drinking

Not the right combination after 2 months

How long is long enough??

is one evening worth one year??

I reckon I made my choice 2nite

Did u make urs?

Why am I always expect from u to do the same I do?

I could go for a beer have a single free memorable evening with a person I fancy for 2 years, and i couldnt

I could not sand up catch the bus got there and have a beer

Even though nothing was supposed to happen

So i am sitting home listening to sweet home alabama and thinking

whether the choices we make are always the right ones

I do believe they are

more then ever in this time of the year

Why am I such an angel?

I dont wanna hurt anybody

But now I just wanna drink 

and drink

and drink

Maybe later on

when u get back from the cottage

or

whenever

ohh shut up veronika

The loners are special people

I miss my freak being in Thailand and me being in rainy London

Once you asked me why am I going to australia

whether I am following you

the truth is I have no idea

Because of you I lost all my preproduced images of what love is

whether it is at all

you make me laugh

is that love?

you make me happy

you make me peaceful in a city which is scary even for tourists

is that enough for love?

for you?

how long does it take a man to know whether he wants to be with the other person

how much is too much?

I have no idea what I would do if it wasnt' you being in Melbourne

but as I said to the wisest person of all- if I didnt go- for any kind of reason I would regret it all my life

because of me

so at the end I might really say it is all for me

I have my dreams about me

I cannot express how much I miss you

every day

when I am cold in the night

and not even a bottle of wine can hide it

I am becoming slower than i used to be

or shall I say I am becoming mre grown up

speak with your sister

she might give yo the right direction

or not

I ll wait for you at the airport

as we said

and we will see

how our lives will develop

chicken

xxx

lost wings and free range chickens

I am wondering, why have not anybody ever metioned sadness before?

Not the fake sadness of a day, but the true despair, the loss, the abnormal sadness which person can only feel in the night

When there are no friends left

no movies to watch

no more music listen to

there is only the feeling of loss, you and ur bed full of thoughts....

There are no drugs which would eliminate this feeling, no further explanation

so I lay in my cold bed, thinking how far can the closest people go?

And wishin the ones I am craving for might read this

or not

depending on their thoughts

which make us run sometimes further away then if we did not say anything

or not

or yes

good night non free range chicken

what a sad evening this is for you and ur non wing friends

My name is Veronika

I come from disfunctional family which should not be the main reason to blame who I am but i like to use it often

I am frequently known as chicken and probably started this blog from a pure curiosity as I am writting an essay about the participatory nature of web and thought- fuck it, lets try and see.

I am freak
or not at all

It is friday night and I really enjoy being back home and being who I am
A bit drunk from a strange mixture of happiness, having my lazy ass on the sofa watching DVDs and drinking wine and not pretending that I am sooo cool and enjoy all this bloody party scene which London has to offer
I dont give a shit
My mum is a maniak with a heart pressure which would kill 99_ of the population already
My father is simply fucking bastards
My brother is another fat bastard in my family except the fact I actually do love him
And his christian freak wife as well
I have the loveliest nice in the world

I dont know what kind of music I like but at the moment I listen to Beatles
I reckon I listened all types of music, depending on the influence which was present in that time period, starting from my brother and his nihilist Nirvana obscesion through hippie 60s to jazz, rock metall acustic ska through something less conventional

I am having something which normal people would call relationship with another freak on his own

I like magnum
I like strawberries

I like to make people angry and say things sometimes just to make them enrage
I do think most of the people are stupid lazy ridiculous idiots which should be treater worse then monkeys

I am right wing conservative with neo libera views on economy from eastern europe currently living in UK and hopefully for a couple of months moving to sunny australia to have ' here comes the sun' in reality'

I dont like people who pretend anything although I cannot sincerely say I do not belong among them

I love my friends and my family
People with certain letter of alphabet mean a lot to me

I am thanful I am not a journalist as my thoughts are too quick to even put them on paper
I am unable to write coherently

I like sleeping
It is my favourite activity

I like chocolate
It is my favourite food

I like being a chicken
I am also cheeky little monkey
I hate bras

And all of this is partly a response to fucking Facebook ridiculous attempt to write something 'about me'

Well here you go

Maybe it is my way how to cope with everything
Maybe the best way how not to start crying